Shopping Solo

I hate having to act all blase and cool when I'm out shopping alone, as if I couldn't care less that there's a Darth Vader alarm clock over there on a shelf 50% off. I'd really rather just jump up and down squealing, punching the air with happiness. Apparently that's inappropriate if you're alone?

And what happens when you accidentally pick up some random woman's coat and start looking for the price tag and ehr husband goes "that's my wife's coat"? Because when you're with someone then you just smile and leave, chuckling-- but alone you have to apologise profusely and blush and dude, it's just a lot to do all at once.

And you just stand in the fitting room queues utterly alone, face deadpan.

I can definitely understand why someone might want to hire a shopping companion, but at the same time, it's like, dude, man up. Seriously, have some strength. Stand tall! You're on your own, so what? It shows confidence (until you try on a spiderman watch and realise it's too small. Try schmoozing your way out of that one)

I'm putting off my impending excursion in to the big, wild outdoors, because I'm afraid of the potential awkwardness to come. *deep breath in, out*

Hype myself up time-- I am, Strong. Confident. Awesome in every single way.

*sigh* I might just buy a doughnut, it's the ultimate way to swagger up.

Oh yeah, baby, time to fly.