Marriage

When I was an early teen, I would shake my head and bang my fist on the table and look up at all the people around me and declare that I would never get married.

It wasn't an anti-boy thing- I'd liked boys since I was in year three and there was this boy who came to the same ballet class as me and he was really good at it and he'd dance around and just be generally awesome.

I didn't want to be grouped in to this institution that just seemed so shallow and old fashioned. It was like using a gas cooker instead of buying a microwave, (I being the microwaver). But then, jacket potatoes never taste as good micorwaved as they do being cooked in an oven.

There's less fluffiness.

I'm actually zero percentage religious, I watch a lot of tv and read a lot of books and stretch my legs a lot, but I haven't been to church since I was about six, so there's no kind of religious aspect that's driving me to put a ring on my finger. Without that drive, what really is the point?

And then I thought, what if someone asked me. What if someone asked me to marry them? Why not jut do it?

Why say no, simply because I felt that I could, simply because I knew that marriage didn't particularly matter to me.

And then, then when I was imagining what I'd say to Michael Scoffield if he was bent down on one knee opening a velvety box up to me, it suddenly crashed in to me that marriage isn't about joining two people in love. It isn't about god welcoming you as a couple instead of as two individuals. It isn't about celebrating your love with all of your friends.

It's all about perception. The whole thing is about the way that two people are seen by the rest of society. And I realised that there is nothing wrong with that.

You dye your hair so that people get a certain idea about you. You dye it because you want to look different- and you want to look different because you feel different and you want people to see that you feel that way. For example, I got these dark purple highlights, and they make my whole hair look darker, and therefore make me as an individual look a lot more serious. It makes my opinion seem suddenly a lot more important.

The colour of your hair can change the entire world.

It's the same deal with marriage. When you get married, you're saying that you're ready to be seen as two eternal lovers. You're saying that you don't need to have eye contact with a foxy young Edward Cullen when you walk to the supermarket on monday morning, because you are ready to be seen as 'taken'. You're ready to be seen as with one person forever.

A couple can only be taken as entirely serious about each other if they're wearing a gold band around their left hand ring finger.

Lets say that a couple never gets married, but they share love far beyond what any married couple has ever had. That's great, well done to you two kids for finding each other. But noone but them will know, noone but them will smile and nod and know that this is the real deal.

And, that's honestly just not as satisfying. Why not share it with the entire world? Maybe give us all a bit of hope for the future. Seriously, because when you show that to the rest of us, even to complete strangers, you make us smile and nod too. And that is all we want.

People grit their teeth and say otherwise, and adamantly rant about how either marriage is conforming or about how it's sacred, but they'll know that that's not it, and that the entire thing is just one big fancy 'coming out' party.

Like when the ladies of the house would reach a certain age, dress up in a ball gown and be presented to society. It's the exact same, only you're being presented with someone else. You're saying 'this is my other half' and then you're smiling, clinking champagne glasses together and bowing.

And we all love it.